In my early years my trainers were those that were at pony club. I didn’t think about who they were or how/what they thought. I just followed instructions and did what I was told! Looking back what I realise is that I was blessed with exemplary trainers. They had both great knowledge but also skill in imparting that knowledge. But what now when I have to go out and find a trainer – how do I chose whom I train with? what do I look for? what are my criteria?
For me there are 5 criteria:
- Is this someone I feel I can have a conversation and discuss things with?
- Do I feel challenged and yet supported?
- Do they hold to the same principles of training as I do?
- Do they become invested in us as a partnership?
- Laughter
Is this someone I can have a conversation and discuss things with?
For me communication is key when finding a trainer that I want to work with. My way of learning is very much one that needs me to be able to talk through, check back and tease out what I am trying to achieve. I need to be able to stop and ask a question whether the most basic or complex to help me gain the understanding. Therefore, it is essential that the people I train with, allow me to do that and are willing and able to help me work through to an answer. We each have our own learning style and it is important that you figure that out before you begin your search for a trainer. Like us trainers have different ways of putting across information and if they don’t do it in a way that suits you, then it can lead to frustration and disappointment for both parties. It is also good to look at how you like the information to be given to you. Is it full on do this now or more why not try it this way? Very often I have found that while I agree with the trainers message, the style of delivery doesn’t work for me! It is important to realise that this is your job to know these things about yourself, then you can be fair to the trainer when you take your lesson. A style that doesn’t suit is not a reflection on the trainers ability, its just that you want your information given in a different way.
Do I feel challenged and yet supported?
My next criteria is that I want to work with someone who is going to push me to develop not only my horse but also my knowledge and skill. I am by no means a brave rider and sometimes I can be overcautious so I know that I need to work with someone that will push me outside my comfort zone. They say the best learning happens when you push past where you want to stay but not so far that you go into fight or flight mode. This balance can be at times very subtle, and finding someone who can run that gauntlet with you is a challenge. Finding that person, who has both the knowledge of the exercises and the many paths to get you there, as well as the understanding of how you tick can be tough. It takes time with some people to build this and with others it is instant, but that is the same in all relationships isn’t it? Again to look from the trainers side, it is important that they feel they can say, we need to work through this or indeed we need to take a step back and sort out this problem first. It is a balance, if you are attending a trainer then you must have due respect for their knowledge too and allow them to push you but also to let them set the pace even if you feel it’s faster/ slower than you want. Communication and active listening is key to this, you should be able to voice your ideas but also that the trainer can give their assessment, but importantly that you will listen to it and visa versa.
Do they hold the same principles as you do?
Firstly, you need to have a very clear idea of what type of rider/riding that you aspire to? Is there a rider that you want to emulate or a horse that you drool over? This is a good start. From this you can begin to create a picture of what you want to achieve and more importantly by what methods. There are many roads that you can choose to get to your destination so to speak and some can be for you and others not. It is so important that you have that clear idea before you approach a trainer. For me on a personal level the journey is more important than trying to reach any particular destination. I am more interested in a horse centred approach, one that helps make the horse physically stronger and more adept at managing tasks which, hopefully, will lead to greater longevity for my horses. I also want my horse to enjoy the experience and want to dig deep and learn even when its hard because they know that I will be fair. I am not a fan personally of training aids. While they can be very effective and have helped many combinations they aren’t for me. My own feeling is that if I need to bit up or alter tack from the snaffle and basic noseband combination then I am not doing my job right. I need, not only to physically prepare the horse but mentally prepare them for all I require. This is my personal feeling on this matter and not a judgement of any style, each person has to find their own path and methods they feel are right for them.
Do they become invested in us as a partnership?
Anyone who knows me, is aware that my ponies are very precious to me. I am very invested in them and my relationship with them. I really want them to love working for me. It holds true that I need to find a trainer that understands this dynamic and is willing to work with me to create this. Yes this may mean that I back off when I should push on but that’s just the way it is at times. I know my ponies inside out and sometimes slow and steady does indeed win the race. I would rather not get to the end goal if it means I lose my girls trust in me.
Laughter
To be honest without this I think you are going nowhere. That doesn’t mean that I don’t take my training seriously but when it all falls apart and believe me it will so many times you have choices in how to react. You can be angry, disappointed, disillusioned or you can choose to have a laugh and try again. I have done them all many times and if I’m honest the one that has helped me most is laughter.
